If there is something I’ve really struggled with on my personal journey, it’s about caring what other people think of me. I was constantly worried I have disappointed someone. This is why I have decided to share with you here few steps you can take to free yourself and realized this is a waste of energy. It’s important to start by making a list of people you care most about and who care most about you. Then, you can kee4p in mind that these are the ONLY people whose opinion should matter for you. Who is this for you? Make a list for yourself.
Here are the list of the steps I was referring to earlier:
- Keep Connection With The Right People
If you have a circle of close friends with which you hang out with or not. Otherwise, if you are making your close friends list, do not push too hard to be everyone’s person is a perfect thing that will even help you stop caring too much about what they think. So, think of people you get along with and don’t get along with in your life. Even if they are no longer connected to you. What traits and values do these people have? Find commonalities to understand the type of people you can easily get along with.
- Focus On What You Can Control
One thing that we cannot control is other people’s reactions or thoughts. For example, you might put in a lot of research, spend countless nights writing, and finally publish a book. But there’s always a chance people might not like it.
So, what do you do? Focus on you. Knowing that you’re delivering value and giving your best intentions is enough. That seed of emotion allows you to let go of what you can’t control. So, grab a pen and paper. Create two columns for things you can control and those you can’t. Cut the paper in half and get rid of the list of the things you can’t control. This is how you build a mental toughness’.
- Be Judgment-Free
Most people are very tuned in to make judgments that they’ve become a part of their daily life. Things like:
- Seeing someone unfit in the gym? Judgment.
- Seeing someone too fit in the gym? Judgment.
- Other drivers cut us off? Judgment.
But, making judgments as part of our day-to-day makes them more important than needed, this is how we keep it on autopilot and it becomes our default function. And this leads us to end up judging ourselves. Instead, it might be helpful to take a step back from it. Rather than see our judgments as something to be commented on or taken action with, we see them as existing, nothing more, nothing less. When you do that, judgment plays a less important part in your life, AND you give less weight to other people’s judgments of you. So, drop the judgments and skip labelling them.
- Zoom Out Your Perspective
When we feel that someone doesn’t like us, we tend to generalize it; this means we instantly think that a huge number of people doesn’t like us. It might be helpful to step back and localize our problems instead. Try this zooming-out exercise when a situation bogs you down:
- Close your eyes and visualize yourself on top of the building that you’re currently in.
- Then, visualize yourself going out further and looking at the town/city/area you live in.
- Go out further and see the planet—maybe you’re on the moon or looking down at the Earth.
- Look at the other planets and zoom out slowly until you can see the entire galaxy.
Using this technique, you might see how minor your problems can be. This perspective exercise creates such a distance. It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small.
- Protect Your Energy
Your energy is your life, and often others can take it away quickly. But to feel more accessible, we need to protect our energy. It might be hard to do so, but there is a cool technique you can use.
When you don’t want to “absorb” the negative words of others, imagine a jar over your head and allow the negative comments to bounce off it and not touch you. Or you can imagine someone throwing a negative ball of energy towards you but instead of catching it, you just let it drop. You don’t have to catch a ball when someone throws it at you.
Using visualization techniques has been proven helpful, keep using them regularly to reap the benefits.
- Remember Your Why
Ask yourself: Why am I here? Often, knowing your why will allow you to pursue it with purpose and without caring what others think. And at the end of your life, you might imagine, “This was me. This is what I did. I achieved everything I was capable of.” Or you might see yourself and think, “I let others control my life and defeat my purpose.” The more you focus on your purpose, the less you give weight to what others think or say about you. It always starts With You. When you start not to care about what other people think of you, you will become more proud of yourself and your work. And remember: it all starts with how YOU feel about yourself. Learn How To Overcome Fear And Conquer Self-Doubt to become even more confident!
If you would like to explore more on this and take a step forward towards expressing your full potential, feel free to connect with me for a chat!!!
To your success with so much love!